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Ten keys on delayed ejaculation

1. What is delayed ejaculation?

Although it is something that is not talked about much, the truth is that it is not uncommon for men (or their partners) to consult a sexologist in Delhi for an ejaculation time that they consider excessive. They usually consult because the penetrations (or other genital stimulation practices) are prolonged in time, causing themselves, or their partners, to get tired or start to feel discomfort.

It is known as “delayed ejaculation” or “problems from an ejaculation time that is considered excessive”. In cases in which ejaculation fails to occur, we speak of anejaculation, absence of ejaculation, or ejaculatory inability.

Men with this difficulty often feel some degree of arousal and pleasure, but it is not enough to trigger an orgasm.

Difficulty ejaculating usually occurs mainly during penetration; it is estimated that 85% of these men can ejaculate without problems with masturbation and 50% also ejaculate with oral or manual stimulation from their partner (Masters and Johnson, 1966).

2. Is there a specific time to talk about delayed ejaculation?

Many sexologists in Delhi do not speak of a specific time. It must be taken into account that each man is different, and if there is a partner, each couple is different too. There are men who take 30 minutes to ejaculate from the start of penetration and are satisfied, and so are their partners, because of their particular tastes, because of how their erotic relationships are (possibly they alternate penetration with other relationships), or because of how they manage ejaculation times. Other men with the same time are dissatisfied and so are their partners.

Men who have times of 45 minutes or more, or who never ejaculate, tend to be the most dissatisfied, as are their partners.

In short, it is dissatisfaction that mainly defines whether a man suffers from a sexual problem or not, rather than the specific time.

3. Is it frequent or is it a very unusual erotic difficulty?

Most studies place its incidence between 4 and 11% of the populatio.

In our sexologist clinic in Delhi, we have noticed a clear increase in consultations about this erotic difficulty from 20 years to now, although this increase may be due to the fact that there are more men with this difficulty or that the men with this difficulty are the same but now they feel less embarrassed when it comes to seeking help to improve their erotic life.

4. What specialist should be consulted?

If the man never ejaculates, neither in solo masturbation, nor in shared masturbation, nor in penetration, nor in any erotic practice, the ideal thing would be for him to go to the urologist in Delhi first, to rule out an organic pathology as the cause of the ejaculation.

If the man ejaculates without problems alone, but has difficulties with a partner, the cause is most likely psychological or relational, and our advice would be to visit the best sexologist in Delhi.

It is not uncommon to work in coordination, that is, that different professionals (medicine, urology, sexology…) evaluate the person from their different areas, to offer better care together.

5. How does delayed ejaculation affect the quality of the erotic relationship?

Each case is different, but to offer some general keys, it must be taken into account that some penetrations last 30 or 45 minutes, or even more, without the man having ejaculated. This can cause some couples (both heterosexual and homosexual) tiredness, boredom, or even discomfort that can become important.

When the problem continues over time and occurs in practically every sexual relationship, it sometimes translates into a lack of desire from the partner, a lack of desire from the man himself, who feels frustrated and anguished by his difficulty in reaching orgasm, and that they are also afraid of the image they may give to their partner, what the other person may think or how they will react. Some men even end up having erection problems, if they are very worried and stressed by the absence of ejaculation. And sometimes it can lead to disagreements with the couple.

6. How do the partners of men with this difficulty usually react?

Couples, whether they are women or other men, tend to react worse when they relate the lack of ejaculation, or their partner’s ejaculation difficulties, with a low desire for them.

In other words, if the partner of this man who finds it difficult to ejaculate, attributes this difficulty to the fact that his partner does not find her attractive or exciting, or that the erotic life they have in common bores him, that he does not like his body… he usually Reacting negatively affects her self-esteem and she is less understanding of her partner’s ejaculation times.

It should be noted that on many occasions men’s ejaculation difficulties are NOT caused by a lack of attraction or desire towards their partner. When the problem is not attraction or desire, and this is made clear to both partners (sometimes with help from sexologist doctor in Delhi), the problem is much more easily resolved.

7. What are usually the physical causes?

Certain drugs can delay ejaculation or even prevent it (antidepressants, antihypertensives, antipsychotics, etc.). For example, it is estimated that people who are taking certain antidepressants (SSRIs) or antipsychotics present ejaculation disorders in 50% of cases. Therefore it is important to see what drugs the person is taking and their possible side effects.

Also certain chronic diseases (such as diabetes, multiple sclerosis…), spinal cord injuries, genital surgeries (prostate, for example), trauma, stroke, hormonal disorders, alcohol or drug abuse… can cause difficulties with ejaculation, among other physical factors.

It should be noted that with increasing age, the time required to ejaculate tends to increase as well.

8. Does it usually have a psychological or sexological cause?

It is the most frequent. Some men who find it difficult to ejaculate in penetrative relationships are excessively concerned about their partner’s pleasure, about the possible image they may give, even about the fear of not ejaculating, and all of this makes it difficult for them to abandon themselves, become aroused and ejaculate.

In other cases, some men who do not have difficulties to ejaculate alone, with a partner, by matching their movements, the type of stimulation and the rhythm of said stimulation to the partner, manage to enjoy but they lack a plus of excitement to achieve orgasm.. Both causes can occur separately or together.

9. What advice could be offered to couples with this difficulty?

If there is a partner, dialogue with the partner is essential. If the man finds his partner attractive and that is not the cause of his difficulty in ejaculating, he should make this clear to her. When the people who make up a couple understand the motivations and causes of the behavior of the other party, it is much easier for difficulties to be addressed with serenity, assertiveness and patience.

It is usually useful not to be obsessed that the man with this difficulty reaches orgasm at all costs, there are relationships that can be given with excitement and pleasure for him and assume that he may not reach orgasm on some occasion. It is also useful not to focus everything on penetration and to carry out practices such as manual stimulation (by the partner or himself), oral sex, caresses and massages, etc.

10. How is it usually approached in the sexology consultation?

First, an evaluation is carried out to clarify the causes of delayed ejaculation and the dissatisfaction of the couple.

If the causes are psychological or sexological, they are frequently addressed by offering guidelines for improving sexual life in the stable couple or with occasional partners.

Generally, keys are offered to improve arousal and abandonment in erotic encounters and that the rhythm, stimulation, and movements adapt to those that the man needs to achieve orgasm, ensuring that this also translates into an improvement of the relationship with the partner.

It is also favored that erotic relationships are not reduced to penetration, but that the range of erotic techniques is expanded. And work is done to improve the man’s self-esteem, the image of him as a man and as a capable lover, as a way to facilitate going relaxed and confident to meetings, and therefore, to achieve orgasm.

If there is a partner, you always try to work with your partner as a system, as a team, to achieve the best results.

Does Size Matters?

For a long time, the size of the penis has been given relevance in relation to satisfaction in sexual relations. There are many men who are concerned about the size of their penis and often search penis enlargement treatment in Delhi, while there are many other people who say that it is not important.

All this of the sizes has been quite traversed by the genre. Women are bombarded with messages from the time we are little and there is a lot of talk about the sizes of our bodies, the size of our clothes, our weight, the size of the chest… and in the case of men, for some time now it is valued that the penises are large. However, in the case of measuring things in men, it is said a lot that “size does not matter”.

But is it really true that penis size doesn’t matter for sexual satisfaction?

The size of the penis is associated with virility, “the bigger the size, the better, and the more pleasure it is in penetration”, it is often thought. Perhaps this very visual part of sexual relations is mediated by the image of huge penises and endless penetrations that pornography sells us, much of it false and staged. And this has become a concern for many men because we have more and more access to the internet and at younger ages. And since sex education is less than we would like, many times what is seen in pornography is accepted as valid and we think that our bodies and our stamina should be like what is seen on the screen.

The point is that by giving so much importance to the size of the penis we are practically focusing only on penetration. But there are many other practices that do not involve the penis and that are very pleasurable. In fact, in the case of people with a vulva, most of the pleasure and orgasms come from clitoral stimulation and not so much from vaginal penetration. Only 20% of people with a vagina usually have orgasms only with vaginal penetration. And yet, practically 100% of people with a vulva (except nerve damage, sensitivity, etc.) can have orgasms with clitoral stimulation. Therefore, in this sense, the size of the penis is irrelevant for pleasure or the achievement of orgasm, says sexologist in Delhi.

Now, focusing only on penetration, does size matter? When talking about sizes, perhaps here it would also be relevant to talk about the size, not only of the penis, but also of the vagina. Because there is much talk about the size of the penis, but we forget that vaginas also have sizes, which vary from one person to another. Vaginas in a resting state (without arousal) usually measure about 10 centimeters on average. During arousal, the vaginas widen and stretch, they can get up to twice their size at rest. There is a myth that vaginas widen or get bigger if you have had a lot of sex or have sex with a lot of people. This is not true, vaginas do not give themselves, and the size of each vagina is as random or genetic as the size of the nose.

So, for a penetration to be pleasurable for whoever receives it, what is needed is that the size of the penis and the size of the vagina match more or less. Keep in mind that vaginas do not have many nerve endings, the clitoris has many more. But if a penis is significantly larger than the vagina, penetration will probably be painful or uncomfortable. The same happens with anal penetration, not only the size of the penis comes into play, but other factors such as the ease with which the anus dilates, which also does not dilate like vaginas and does not have its own lubrication. In this practice, usually larger penises can be more difficult to insert, explains best sexologist in Delhi.

Therefore, the size of the penis itself is irrelevant. What matters for a penetration to be pleasurable is that the genitals involved mate approximately and it is a desired practice for all parties. The rest is about testing the positions that are best for each person, in some we will feel more, in others less, because depending on the position and the angle, deeper or less deep penetrations can be facilitated. For this it is very important to have good communication with our sexual partner to indicate which things we like more, which less and seek solutions together or seek expert advice of sexologist doctor in Delhi. And remember that there are thousands of sexual practices that are very pleasurable and do not have to involve penetration.

And finally, remember also that in the pleasure of any erotic practice, not only the genitals and their sizes are involved (if the genitals are involved, by the way), but also desires, good treatment, imagination, confidence, feelings, attractions, good connection and desire to play of the people who carry it out, and that generally matter much more than the sizes, shapes and colors of the genitals, says best sexologist in Delhi.

We are a center specialized in sexology and couples. We are in the center of Delhi. We are a team made up of expert medical staffs, and specialized in orientation, support, sexological advice and therapy for people with sexual or relational problems. If you want more information, visit our sexologist clinic in Delhi.

When to go to the sexologist?

Before going to the sexologist in Delhi, many people have spent time asking questions such as: What professional can help me with this sexual problem? Is it time to go to a sexologist? What problems does a sexologist treat? Why do people go to a sexologist?

A sexologist is a professional who has completed MBBS, MD, and who develops tasks related to sex education, sexual information or orientation, sexual dysfunctions, and sexological counseling and/or sex and couples therapy.

Therefore, one of the tasks that sexologists frequently perform is caring for people with sexual and/or relationship difficulties or problems.

What problems does a sexologist treat?

At Dr P K Gupta Sexologist Clinic in Delhi, people with difficulties or problems in their sexuality are cared for, as well as people with doubts or concerns about sexuality, couples or affective relationships.

Therefore, it is common for people to attend the sexology consultation:

• Worried because they feel that their erotic desire is too high or too low.
• Difficulty enjoying or having pleasure in sexual intercourse.
• With relationship or relationship problems (to understand or communicate, or to establish affective relationships and manage them…).
• With pain during intercourse or penetration.
• With doubts or concerns about their identity (how do I define myself: female, male, non-binary person…) or their sexual orientation (who do I like? which people attract me and to what degree?), as well as the management of these aspects in a society that does not quite accept diversity as the richness that it is.
• With concerns about the management of what society considers “masculine” and “feminine”, their assigned roles and roles, and to what extent the person feels they fit (or not) into all of this.
• Concerned that their penis does not become erect, or the erection is lost during sexual encounters (erectile dysfunction, erection problems, “impotence”…)
• Worried that they ejaculate before or after what they want, or what they consider appropriate (sometimes called “premature ejaculation” or “delayed ejaculation”…)
• Difficulty reaching orgasm or enjoying it.
• Concerned because they do not achieve penetration (vaginismus).
• With difficulty managing non-monogamous or non-conventional relationships (polyamory, open relationships, liberal personalities, swinger couples…).
• With difficulty managing monogamous couple relationships (infidelity, jealousy, affective dilemmas, couple crisis…).
• In need of support after a love break or disappointment (love duels, breach of trust in the couple…)
• In need of support to facilitate sexual education in the family (mothers and/or fathers who want to offer their children adequate sexual education and do not know how to do it, mothers and/or fathers of LGTBIQA+ children who want to provide them with the best support, such as mothers or fathers of trans minors…)
• In need of support to manage non-normative erotic desires (“parafilas”, erotic peculiarities…) or non-conventional relationships (liberal people, kink…)
• Worried about feeling sexual, erotic or relational dissatisfaction.
• In need of support in personal and affective crises.
• With couple difficulties (problems with routine, loss of attraction…)
• And with other worries, problems or difficulties (abuse, shyness, difficulty establishing relationships or maintaining them, problems with body image and acceptance, fears…).

As we can see, a wide variety of difficulties (or problems, or concerns) are dealt with in the sexology consultation. Occasionally, and as we have mentioned on other occasions, there is the collaboration of other professionals (urology, gynecology, pelvic floor physiotherapy…).

But it’s not all “sexual problems”

Although it is less frequent, in our work as sexologists we also find that there are people who come to a consultation simply to ask about a matter that they are unaware of, related to sexuality, or to clarify a doubt, or to enrich and improve a sexual life that already exists.

And, of course, and linking to the above, people who are dedicated to sexology also carry out sexual education at all ages, adapted to the people or group in question.

Is it time to go to a sexologist?

In our work as sexologists we have seen that people have traditionally found it difficult to go to a sexologist doctor in Delhi, often thinking about it for a long time before going, or going when the problem was already serious or they had been suffering from it for several years.

But for some time now, we have seen that the situation is changing, people are valuing mental and sexual health more and the taboo that existed in this regard (if a person went to a psychologist or a sexologist, it was very difficult for them to discuss it with their friends or relatives) is disappearing.

Possibly the fact that many people with mental health problems are sharing it on networks (or with their friends) has contributed to the partial disappearance of this taboo. We also see that there is a greater social debate about the mental and psychological health needs of the population, which have also influenced the vision of sexuality problems and the need to receive attention to them.

Hopefully every day it will be easier to go to the sexology consultation, because happiness and sexual health are valued as part of the well-being of the person, because the taboo related to talking about sexuality is eliminated and going to a sex specialist doctor in Delhi if it is normalized you need. Just as some part of our body hurts and we go to the doctor, or our back bothers us and we go to a physiotherapist in Delhi, and we have no problem commenting on it, or we don’t wait until it’s very bad to seek help.

And of course, hopefully the day will come when the population pressures public administrations to allocate more resources to the much-needed sexual education, which would avoid so many problems and disappointments.

Meanwhile, and returning to the question with which we began this section (“Is it time to go to a sexologist?”), one could answer that if the person feels bad about some aspect related to their sexuality, or does not have erotic satisfaction, or you feel bad about a matter related to your affectivity or relationships, or you have concerns or doubts, or you simply want support to enrich your sexuality and your relationships, indeed, a sexologist in Delhi can be very helpful.

What happens when in a couple one has more desire than the other?

Internet dating search apps tend to match up like-minded people. Or at least have some common interests. That they like to exercise, watch the same type of series, travel or are animal lovers. Even with everything, the reality is that, with the passage of time, as you get to know that person more, you realize that you are not as similar as you thought. Differences arise, which in some cases spark the relationship and in others are irreconcilable. Something like that happens with sexual desire. At the beginning of the relationship it seems that just with a look you turn on the desire at the same time. But as time goes by, for some reason, the desire is no longer so synchronized.

Do all couples have differences in their desire?

When we perceive that one does not have the same desire as the other, we think that something is failing. It does not have to be this way. “I would say that it is rare that two people have exactly the same level of desire. Although, of course, we speak from the consolidation of the couple, after that first phase characterized by passion has elapsed”, clarifies the sexologist in Delhi Dr P K Gupta as a first point. Even, according to the expert, the end of the stage of falling in love may be the first moment in which the conflict arrives. “It is difficult for both members of the couple to ‘get out’ of that first phase of passion at the same time, which can also give rise to conflicts or problems in the relationship.”

That is another question. It may be that our desire was synchronized at one time and that, due to various circumstances, namely stress, different work schedules, etc., we are no longer in tune. Here, Dr P K Gupta, the best sexologist in Delhi, points out that “changing desires” are also common. “There are moments when everything aligns and both people have a similar desire, but the moment a factor comes into play that can influence one of the two, or both, the desire changes radically.”

Despite the fact that this is the reality of the vast majority of couples, the feeling we have is that the rest are much more involved than we are. Much of the blame lies with the pre-established idea of ​​some statistics or surveys on the sexual frequency of Indians. In them, they usually talk about figures and averages that it seems that everyone follows. Thus, we feel strange if we are above, especially if we are below. “Socially it is established that, if you have a partner, it seems that you have to do it two or three times a week,” Dr Gupta insists. “What nobody talks about is how many of those two or three meetings are satisfactory. And this is where we have to focus.”

The myth that men have more desire than women

Another of the socially established facts is that they always feel like it and they always have a headache. As if desire were a matter of gender rather than people and circumstances. “It is a myth that derives from a whole series of clichés associated with gender roles,” adds sex specialist in Delhi. A myth that does not agree with the increase in cases of men who come to his office due to low desire despite the insistence of their partners.

“Desire is much more complex than it seems, and for this very reason it becomes one of the great couple problems. It influences everything that worries us, makes us uncomfortable, distracts us, fatigues us or pressures us. Children, work, family, or mental problems. Of course, communication, sexual satisfaction or quality time as a couple”.

It is true that these factors, or rather, the emotional burden and stress of them, have traditionally had a greater impact on women than on men. However, Dr P K Gupta points out that the main problem is not a lack of desire, but a coitocentric model of sexual relations that led to unsatisfactory sex. And nobody usually wants to repeat a dish that is eaten with disgust.

Based on the fact that in a matter of sex everything is generalization, currently women seem to have opened up to experiment and communicate more about sexuality. On the other hand, men seem to be subjected to a new pressure that has had an impact on their desire. “All that attention that has been given to man’s satisfaction is now a problem for him. The fact of always having to give the grade, having to always feel like it, having an erection and perfect ejaculation, holding on generates a lot of pressure… For men there are also factors that, if they are not taken care of and optimized, directly influence their desire sexual”, insists the sex doctor in Delhi.

How do we coordinate?

Bearing in mind that the difference in sexual desire seems inescapable, at least at some point in the relationship, perhaps the problem is that we lack tools to manage it. “Desire is not controlled at will,” insists Dr P K Gupta. For this reason “it may be important to emphasize that there is no intention to harm, it is important not to take it personally that our partner no longer wishes us in the same way as before.”

Having this clear, what is possible is to “promote situations that activate desire.” And it is that sometimes the desire does not come alone, you have to look for it. Just as we understand that other aspects of the couple have to be worked on over time, we think that when it comes to passion, everything has to be magical. Sometimes it is as simple as, in the maelstrom of the routine, taking time to have intimate moments with your partner and reconnect. Obviously it’s easier for something to come up if we’re cuddling on the sofa, than if everyone is in a corner with their mobile. It can also be easier to look for moments as a couple in which we are more relaxed than to leave it for the end of the day when we are more tired. All this always trying not to push too much. If that day we have met,

Although before all that, for sexologist doctor in Delhi, also, the first step in any sexual difficulty as a couple, involves first analyzing our own sexuality. Something that seems obvious and necessary before being able to share and communicate about it. “We have to work on being aware of all those factors that influence our sexual desire, and work on them so that they favor our libido,” concludes the best sexologist in Delhi. In the end, we must bear in mind that sexuality is something individual and as a couple we only share a part of it, and it is something that we must also keep in mind to reach agreements regarding the needs or points of view of each one.

Sexual Dysfunctions - What We Can Do

Sexual dysfunction refers to difficulties that a person may experience during any stage of the sexual response cycle, which includes desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution. Sexual dysfunction can affect people of all genders and can have physical, emotional, and relationship-related causes. It is a common issue that can be addressed through various treatment options.

Desire disorders, also known as low libido or low sex drive, involve a lack of desire or interest in sexual activity. This can be caused by physical factors such as hormonal imbalances or medications, or psychological factors such as stress, anxiety, or depression.

Arousal disorders involve difficulty becoming or remaining sexually aroused. This can be physical, such as difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection (erectile dysfunction) or becoming lubricated (vaginal dryness). It can also be psychological, such as feeling anxious or stressed during sexual activity.

Orgasm disorders involve difficulty reaching orgasm, or taking an excessively long time to do so. This can be caused by physical factors, such as hormonal imbalances or certain medications, or psychological factors, such as stress or past trauma.

Resolution disorders involve difficulty returning to a state of normal arousal after sexual activity. This can lead to problems such as premature ejaculation (ejaculating too quickly) or difficulty achieving another erection after ejaculating.

Sexual dysfunction can have a significant impact on a person’s quality of life and relationships. It is important to seek treatment from sexologist in Delhi if you are experiencing sexual dysfunction, as it is a common and treatable issue. Treatment options may include medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, or a combination of these approaches.

It is also important to address any underlying physical or emotional issues that may be contributing to sexual dysfunction. For example, if a person is experiencing low libido due to hormonal imbalances, treating the hormonal imbalance may help to improve their sex drive. If a person is experiencing anxiety or stress that is impacting their arousal, addressing these issues through therapy or other means may be helpful.

In addition to seeking sex treatment in Delhi, there are also steps that people can take to improve their sexual function on their own. These may include:

• Communicating with your partner about your desires and concerns
• Trying new sexual activities or techniques to find what works for you
• Exercising regularly and eating a healthy diet to improve physical and mental health
• Managing stress and practicing relaxation techniques
• Avoiding alcohol and drugs, as they can interfere with sexual function

Overall, sexual dysfunction is a common issue that can be addressed through treatment and self-care. If you are experiencing sexual dysfunction, it is important to seek help from the best sexologist in Delhi and not to feel ashamed or embarrassed. There are resources available to support you in addressing this issue and improving your sexual function and overall quality of life.

Sexual Dissatisfaction: When to See a Sexologist?

Did you know that 51% of Indians are not satisfied with their sex life? Recent research shows that 22% of women do not reach orgasm when they have sex, while 62% of men have difficulty maintaining an erection.

Sexuality is very important, so much so that its relevance is legitimized by the WHO, the World Health Organization (WHO), which states that sex is one of the pillars of quality of life. This means that dissatisfaction in this area can negatively impact the general well-being of adult individuals.

It is worth noting that sexual problems can be related to multiple factors, such as hormonal changes, self-esteem problems, stress, anxiety, depression, past traumas, organic issues, etc.

Regardless of what the cause of sexual difficulties is, it is essential to seek help to solve the problem. The sexologist in Delhi can be a great ally in this task! Check below when this professional should be sought.

When sexual dissatisfaction is persistent

It is natural that from time to time the person does not feel fulfilled in bed. Sex after a stressful day at work, an occasional difficulty getting an erection, or an isolated episode of premature ejaculation is nothing to worry about. However, if the problem is lasting, turn on the alert signal and find out what is happening. In some cases, treatment should be multidisciplinary, with the participation of a sexologist in Delhi, urologist in Noida, gynecologist, physiotherapist in Dwarka, etc.

When emotional blocks prevent your sex life from being full

If taboos and emotional or cultural blocks get in the way of fullness in sex, it is recommended to see a sexologist in Delhi as soon as possible. Contrary to what many think, sexuality is not just a matter of the body. It involves the mind too! In most cases, sexual dissatisfaction is closely related to problems such as past trauma and mental limitations, such as low self-esteem, depression, low self-confidence and insecurity with one's own image.

When you want to learn how to deal with sex life

Look for the best sexologist in Delhi to vent and learn to deal with your own sexuality in the most natural way possible. This professional will receive you with discretion and without judgment, as he is prepared to hear and deal with complaints such as shyness, fear and embarrassment during sex. In addition, the psychiatrist lives daily with complaints about sexual monotony, infrequency, lack of foreplay, low libido, lack of attunement, etc.

When you need to treat a specific sexual disorder

Sex life may be unsatisfactory because one or both partners have a sex-related disorder. Sexual dysfunctions are characterized by psychophysiological changes that hinder performance and satisfaction in sex. They are disturbances capable of generating difficulties in the relationship, in addition to accentuated suffering. Major disorders include sexual aversion, hypoactive sexual desire, dyspareunia, orgasmic disorder, premature ejaculation, sadism, vaginismus, exhibitionism, fetishism, masochism, and erectile dysfunction.